If at first you don't succeed...

...try, try again.
I guess that has been a very motivational statement for most of my life. I repeat it violently to myself over & over again. I would have given up absolutely everything otherwise, especially in the field of love. & I know that I am young & have so much time for such frivolous things. However, I would just like to say that, for me, love is the ultimate living experience. If you have real, unabashed love, then you will always feel some kind of irrevocable hope. I don't know. Maybe I am just nuts but we all are in our own ways. Ha. Lately, I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions. Complete with twists, turns, & surprise drops & lifts. Its exhilarating & also rather exhausting. School is long & frustrating even though I am enjoying most of my classes. I just want to graduate so I can move on. I wish I had a job so that I wasn't such a mooch. It reeeeeeally sucks. I hate having to borrow money all the time. It makes me feel cheap & worthless. &, honestly, that's not a great feeling to have. Along with getting a job I could get a car, which would be a miracle from above!
As for my love life, its all very complicated. Immediately upon mutually ending my last little fling ( thank God ), I decided to quit smoking & ended up meeting someone who appreciates that quite a lot. At this point, I guess I would change the "love" in "love life" to "like". This because, for the first time in a long time, this person & I have decided to take things verrrrrrry s l o w l y. There are no false or premature proclamations of love where it does not exist. & this I can really appreciate. Its all very sweet & innocent & it has a way of making me feel absolutely wonderful while scaring the living shit out of me. Its been almost 2 years since the last time I took anything "slow". I can, truthfully, say that I don't really know how to anymore. I couldn't say for the life of me whether I was going too fast or at just the right pace. I do know that I WILL NOT put out. That is a mistake I never ever want to make again.
But, all in all, I'm seizing every day & trying to make the most of it. Wish me luck. Peace ouuuuut(;